People often say, “There are plenty of fish in the sea,” especially when they give relationship advice. And while it may be true, finding true love is not as easy as it seems. So, what do you do when you can’t find one yourself? Well, you could instead marry yourself.
It sounds ridiculous. But Sologamy has become a trend in Western countries and is now reaching other places. So if you ever see someone marrying themselves, know that it is slowly becoming a norm. But the question is, “Is it legally binding?”
The Legality of Sologamy
Most states and countries recognize marriage as a union between two people. So if you were to marry yourself, it would only be gestural and not legally binding. You won’t receive any tax breaks, and your marital status won’t change in your documents.
Paperwork isn’t necessary since the law will not recognize your marriage, meaning marrying again won’t commit bigamy.
The bottom line is, yes, you can marry yourself. No laws will stop you from doing that.
The Purpose of Sologamy
As you have read, there are no legal advantages to marrying yourself. But why do people do it anyway? Well, as they say, “It’s hard to love others if you can’t love yourself first.” Self-love is essential. And dating coaches and authors have always made it the cornerstone of having a fulfilling and loving relationship. The lack of self-love is one of the reasons why people often settle for a mediocre relationship.
But, Sologamy is not safe from criticism. Some people view it as self-indulgent and far from the nature and meaning of traditional marriage. But “sologamists” are not ego-centric and approval-seeking individuals. Self-love is not selfish.
Sologamy is not about renouncing love from other people. It’s about recognizing your good and bad sides and accepting them, prioritizing self-care to have a more meaningful relationship with yourself and others.
How to Have a Self-Marriage?
Self-marriages can have similarities with traditional marriages, but they don’t follow any rules and guidelines.
You can invite your friends and families. Or you can be the only guest. And utter your vows in silence, or say them out loud with the words you’ve written or script. You can have someone to officiate your ceremonies like a counselor, a relationship, or a friend. Or you can repeat your affirmations in front of a mirror and kiss it to seal the deal.
It’s up to you where you want to celebrate your self-marriage. You can have it in your home, beach, or a rented venue. Wherever you feel is true to you. To make it more fun, you can ask your friends for gifts, purchase a ring, or buy any commemorative emblem you think represents your self-love.
Some Tips for Your Self-Marriage
Like any relationship, Sologamy will require some dedication from you, too. If you think knowing, understanding, and accepting yourself more is too intimidating, here are some tips to help you on your solo journey.
Purpose and Preparation
Self-reflection is the first step in Sologamy. Why do you want to marry yourself? Do you want to celebrate a milestone achievement or leave your past behind? Or do you want to boost your self-esteem and confidence?
Self-reflecting will make your self-marriage much more meaningful than it is if you have a good reason for it.
Location and Invitation
Try inviting a few of your close friends and trusted family members to bear witness to your cathartic expression of self-love. Your venue space will depend entirely on how many guests you have invited.
If you want an intimate wedding, your house or backyard can be enough. If you have the budget and want something extravagant, you can rent a function room in a hotel. Or opt for a destination wedding and go to the beach or mountain. If you don’t like any of those, marrying yourself in private is fine too.
Vows and Ceremonies
It’s hard to say you “married yourself” if you don’t walk down the aisle. No one has to give you away unless you like doing things the old fashion way.
When you read your vows, it’ll be like reading a love letter to yourself. Except for this time, some people will listen. List all the things you are grateful for, you love, and what you want to do in the future with yourself. After you’ve said all the emotional stuff, you can toss the bouquet and eat the wedding cake without sharing it!
The Story of Sologamy and Where it Stands Today
The story of Sologamy started when Linda Baker married herself in Santa Monica, LA, way back in 1993. It was her way of honoring her 40th birthday. Over the years, it has become more popular. And now people are trying to marry themselves in different parts of the world.
Today, some businesses offer solo wedding packages, which include a limousine, flowers, and photography. There’s even a website in the US called I Married Me offering self-marriage kits.
If you live in Canada, you can go to Vancouver and Ask Alexandra Grill of Marry Yourself Vancouver to help you in your self-marriage journey.
In Asia, Travel Agency called Cerca Travels began promoting a two-day solo wedding package. It includes your gown of choice, stay at a hotel, limousine service, hairstyle and bouquet, and a photo album.
Perhaps one of the most recent and controversial Sologamy was when an Indian woman married herself last June 11. It was the first case of Sologamy in India. And while the woman’s parents supported her, people criticized the act as strange and narcissistic.
You might be thinking how weird it is for people to start marrying themselves. But you might find it becoming the norm as it becomes popular in this generation and the future. And while it may not be legal, the people who do it are not after getting recognized by the state and government. Rather, it’s their way of making a promise of loving themselves before others.
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About The Author: Michael is an aspiring lawyer who likes to spend his free time researching different topics of law, especially about what is legal and what is not. He enjoys reading articles, watching documentaries, and attending lectures to become more informed about the law. He hopes that one day he will be able to use this knowledge to help people in need. Michael also has a passion for writing which led him to pursue journalism as his minor in college.
Through his studies, he has learned how to write professionally with clarity and precision. He is currently writing a novel about the life of a young lawyer who fights for justice in a world that is filled with corruption. Michael hopes to use his skills in writing and researching to pursue a career as an attorney one day. In addition, he also volunteers at legal aid clinics to gain more experience. From this volunteering experience, he has been able to help people better understand their rights and the legal system.
Michael is a dedicated individual with a passion for law and writing, and these qualities make him an excellent candidate for any legal field. He is eager to use his skillset to prove himself as a lawyer in order to contribute in making the world a better place.